Sunday, June 18, 2006
3 mins to 12am.a beginning of a brand new day.19 june.moi dear is gng to book in to his new army camp at yewtee near the limbang there.okie its beside the kranji camp.i m sad.no deny.i admit i miss him.the only thots on moi mind is tt.Y is it the time with him is never enuff.m i so greedy or.it jus the god fooling mi.letting mi miss him so much loving him more than ever.it repeats.absence makes my heart fonder?well this is really true i guess.however i still prefer him by moi side.cos i nid him.i duno y i m so lost w/o him.
today i wok eup at 8am sharp.i sit up on moi bed out of a sudden.i forgot y i did tt.budden i jus did tt.then i woke up wash-up.on water heater then went on to do moi school stuffs.first on list is to hand in moi WCOM tutorial.send it to moi tutor then a reply came bk sayin she will only check the mail tmr.then i post it online on MeL too.then after tt slack awhile browse friendster.then after tt read moi frens blog then after tt went to bathe a long bathe to destress....then went to his hse.b4 i went to bathe.moi mami reprimanded mi.saying y m i gng out so often.i shuld set a good example for moi bro nt to go out so often.cos if nt nxt tiem moi bro will use the excuse tt i can stray out too y cant he?then i m sort of pissed.wads wrong with gng out.is the first thing tt comes to moi mind.i dun go out to cause trouble.i went out jus to acc someone who dote on mi who loves mi.n at least he gib mi the attn i nid at times.i m oso a ger who nids someone to love to shower lotsa love on mi.i m lyk any ordinary ger.nth special.
shees...tears rolling down.i noe wad i sae to her is bad however tt's wad i felt.since young i m banned from playing.i dun hab happie childhood.i can only remember moiself doing lotsa assessment.watching tv is not even allow.so i sae to her.y can moi bro nt do his hmwk now when i nid to complete moi hmwk in the past and i hab a deadline and i get caned when i did not do so.y not moi bro?then i walk of to bathe.she sae dun alwis sae this.budden its true.i remember the strokes i get behind moi legs.the strokes bled so did moi heart.i love moi mami too.she dun seems to love mi as much as moi bro.jus becos i m the eldest.?i oso wan2 be loved by my mother jus lyk any ger.then memories of mi when i m young flashes back.i m alwis the one crying to pull moi dad away when he hits her.i noe its hurts when moi dad hit her.i cry the hardest.i shout.i heck whether i get beaten from moi dad or nt.i m scared budden i m numb to beating.nth big deal.dead or hurt.wads the big deal.budden whenever it comes to moi bro and mi.she neva side mi.i m alwis pull out to be scolded,caned.i m alwis the first to deserve all this y?
b4 i went out i sae byebye to her she jus glare at mi.dun she noe this hurts.it sort of make mi feel duno lyk whether i exist or nt it does nt matter.correct.?then i went to board bus.sms dea rto tell him wad happen i guess he sleeping so slow reply.then i hoping for him to pick mi up.at least i hab a shoulder to lie on.a shoulder to cry on.i m jus a normal ger.wads wrong wif mi crying?i oso wan2 cry when i feel emotional.budden he told mi he's tired.i jus feel comletely lost in moi thots after tt.i told moiself.its true he is tired wad.sleep late lei.if mi i oso will sae i tired de ma.for wad sad.jus walk up moiself.y mus trouble ppl.mus be strong ma so weak sial.all these jus rush to moi mind.in moi heart,it screams"i just want someone,just him to be by moi side when i needed him the most."
nevertheless,i went up moiself...then i sms him to open the door for mi luckily i hab moi mp3 to acc mi.then i went in rush to his bed to smell his scent so to feel secure....then after tt lie awhile with him...went online to browse friendster...then after tt went online.saw laine online then tok to her for awhile.then went to acc dear again.then we watch xiaoxin cartoon.then after tt we went down to buy some grocery then went to the pasar malam there to buy some snacks to eat...then went up...cook noodles...then he watch tv...then after tt i ask him to make the dumplings then sort of pissed cos he lyk reluctant to make for mi.budden after awhile okie liao.cos i told moiself.i m supposed to do tt wad.now he do it for mi i mus appreciate not being grumpy.then we went to eat,drink watch tv.luff....then after the show finish he went to play maple...then i continue to watch tv....the devil by my side drama...i cant watch for nxt week i guess...then play awhile in the maple...use dear acc...who noes he take the boat to a place kana kill by two powerful monster.poor maple character.then i m luffing all the way in the show gt the rainie yang wan.then luff,giggling,all sort of things i did.dear only play his game.
then as and when he will come down to acc mi.i appreciate tt and i love it.then after tt i thot if nt for this show i alr crying cos i miss him.and the thot of him booking in.its the same sadden feeling.ya he is only gng for weekdays.however,i just want him by moi side.anittime.how i wish time will freeze for mi.whenever i m wif him.for as long as possible.then after tt we lie on bed awhile then we went to jp.co si wan2 buy mami's bdae prezzie, it fall on 24th of june.then i went jp bought moi mami a mehmeh cos tt's her zodiac.then went to withdraw money.look at hairdye.wan dear to dye for mi nxt mth.wondering wad colour nxt cos dear sae purple look wierd on mi.so i m considering others?or m i sticking to the same purple colour?then sort of miss olivia,laine they all.cos long time no c le and tok and luff together.suddenly feel detached from them.m i thinking too much.i guess so.then after jp came bk....
i use com again c via's blog and the rest.sms via.long time no sms.budden one reply then stop liao.busy ba.we hab our individual lifes liao.however i believe friendship is everlasting and strong.cheers.then time is nearing.he went to bathe and shit...i help him find his stuff.then hp cover thingys.cos he drop it.then i m looking for it but to no avail.hmmm.then after tt we ate dinner.full.his mami cook wan.then after tt continue to talk to laine.cos she tok to cy.then i tok to her.they share a little secret i duno wad.dear delete the history.dun let mi c.humph.budden nvm.surprise is better.then i noe i m to leave him soon.then he was packing his stuffs and went to shit while i chat online wif laine and his fren.after awhile laine log off.went to read her blog then sms her awhile then went to friendster browse awhile time to go bk le.
dear went to change then i pack moi stuffs we went bk together.took 180 to terminal then i wait with him for his bus to come then i board moi.then his bus came.then i took 700A bk.who noes the route has change i duno sial.then i took till the bus drive out to some wulu place then i ask bus uncle.he sae gng down to orchard.i stunned immediately.no way.cos i wan2 go home.l;uckily dear ask mi go ask if nt i will be at town.-.-.then alight at some duno where de expressway.then i nid to make moi way bk to bukit panjang on moi foot.bus 11 ya.then tok to dear on fone.co si m scared.its dark.its creepy.its duno.the feeling is super uneasy i tried to ignore.however the fear is still there.the traffic there is not beri heavy so its beri quiet.u can hear ya footstpes and stuffs.luckily i still hab him on the other line.i m glad to have him by moi side when i needed him.how i wish he is beside mi.i walk for a beri long time i guess so.half-way i fell cos slippery.then hurt moi knee there.a few scractches and then dirty.sweating.warm.i m wearing a jacket mind u.shitty.then i walk as fast as i could so tt i can get home fast.moi only thot is to reach home.get home.if he's not toking to mi on the fone i guess i will jus be crying.then i remember how i try moi beri best not to tear in forn tof him jus now.the tears i swallow bk.then i tried to smile.i wan him to be happie.i smile to him.i treasure the time we r together.then i told moiself to be strong nt to cry.i dun wan him to worrie.at tt point of time.then bk to topic.i keep walking then finally walk bk home.all thanks to moi dear there mentally supporting mi.
i just love him so muchie.its beyond words.beyond anitin.i love moi parents,moi bro too.budden they never noe.they only noe sort of broke moi heart at times with the harsh words.i just love him i love them too.i love moi true frens too.
today i wok eup at 8am sharp.i sit up on moi bed out of a sudden.i forgot y i did tt.budden i jus did tt.then i woke up wash-up.on water heater then went on to do moi school stuffs.first on list is to hand in moi WCOM tutorial.send it to moi tutor then a reply came bk sayin she will only check the mail tmr.then i post it online on MeL too.then after tt slack awhile browse friendster.then after tt read moi frens blog then after tt went to bathe a long bathe to destress....then went to his hse.b4 i went to bathe.moi mami reprimanded mi.saying y m i gng out so often.i shuld set a good example for moi bro nt to go out so often.cos if nt nxt tiem moi bro will use the excuse tt i can stray out too y cant he?then i m sort of pissed.wads wrong with gng out.is the first thing tt comes to moi mind.i dun go out to cause trouble.i went out jus to acc someone who dote on mi who loves mi.n at least he gib mi the attn i nid at times.i m oso a ger who nids someone to love to shower lotsa love on mi.i m lyk any ordinary ger.nth special.
shees...tears rolling down.i noe wad i sae to her is bad however tt's wad i felt.since young i m banned from playing.i dun hab happie childhood.i can only remember moiself doing lotsa assessment.watching tv is not even allow.so i sae to her.y can moi bro nt do his hmwk now when i nid to complete moi hmwk in the past and i hab a deadline and i get caned when i did not do so.y not moi bro?then i walk of to bathe.she sae dun alwis sae this.budden its true.i remember the strokes i get behind moi legs.the strokes bled so did moi heart.i love moi mami too.she dun seems to love mi as much as moi bro.jus becos i m the eldest.?i oso wan2 be loved by my mother jus lyk any ger.then memories of mi when i m young flashes back.i m alwis the one crying to pull moi dad away when he hits her.i noe its hurts when moi dad hit her.i cry the hardest.i shout.i heck whether i get beaten from moi dad or nt.i m scared budden i m numb to beating.nth big deal.dead or hurt.wads the big deal.budden whenever it comes to moi bro and mi.she neva side mi.i m alwis pull out to be scolded,caned.i m alwis the first to deserve all this y?
b4 i went out i sae byebye to her she jus glare at mi.dun she noe this hurts.it sort of make mi feel duno lyk whether i exist or nt it does nt matter.correct.?then i went to board bus.sms dea rto tell him wad happen i guess he sleeping so slow reply.then i hoping for him to pick mi up.at least i hab a shoulder to lie on.a shoulder to cry on.i m jus a normal ger.wads wrong wif mi crying?i oso wan2 cry when i feel emotional.budden he told mi he's tired.i jus feel comletely lost in moi thots after tt.i told moiself.its true he is tired wad.sleep late lei.if mi i oso will sae i tired de ma.for wad sad.jus walk up moiself.y mus trouble ppl.mus be strong ma so weak sial.all these jus rush to moi mind.in moi heart,it screams"i just want someone,just him to be by moi side when i needed him the most."
nevertheless,i went up moiself...then i sms him to open the door for mi luckily i hab moi mp3 to acc mi.then i went in rush to his bed to smell his scent so to feel secure....then after tt lie awhile with him...went online to browse friendster...then after tt went online.saw laine online then tok to her for awhile.then went to acc dear again.then we watch xiaoxin cartoon.then after tt we went down to buy some grocery then went to the pasar malam there to buy some snacks to eat...then went up...cook noodles...then he watch tv...then after tt i ask him to make the dumplings then sort of pissed cos he lyk reluctant to make for mi.budden after awhile okie liao.cos i told moiself.i m supposed to do tt wad.now he do it for mi i mus appreciate not being grumpy.then we went to eat,drink watch tv.luff....then after the show finish he went to play maple...then i continue to watch tv....the devil by my side drama...i cant watch for nxt week i guess...then play awhile in the maple...use dear acc...who noes he take the boat to a place kana kill by two powerful monster.poor maple character.then i m luffing all the way in the show gt the rainie yang wan.then luff,giggling,all sort of things i did.dear only play his game.
then as and when he will come down to acc mi.i appreciate tt and i love it.then after tt i thot if nt for this show i alr crying cos i miss him.and the thot of him booking in.its the same sadden feeling.ya he is only gng for weekdays.however,i just want him by moi side.anittime.how i wish time will freeze for mi.whenever i m wif him.for as long as possible.then after tt we lie on bed awhile then we went to jp.co si wan2 buy mami's bdae prezzie, it fall on 24th of june.then i went jp bought moi mami a mehmeh cos tt's her zodiac.then went to withdraw money.look at hairdye.wan dear to dye for mi nxt mth.wondering wad colour nxt cos dear sae purple look wierd on mi.so i m considering others?or m i sticking to the same purple colour?then sort of miss olivia,laine they all.cos long time no c le and tok and luff together.suddenly feel detached from them.m i thinking too much.i guess so.then after jp came bk....
i use com again c via's blog and the rest.sms via.long time no sms.budden one reply then stop liao.busy ba.we hab our individual lifes liao.however i believe friendship is everlasting and strong.cheers.then time is nearing.he went to bathe and shit...i help him find his stuff.then hp cover thingys.cos he drop it.then i m looking for it but to no avail.hmmm.then after tt we ate dinner.full.his mami cook wan.then after tt continue to talk to laine.cos she tok to cy.then i tok to her.they share a little secret i duno wad.dear delete the history.dun let mi c.humph.budden nvm.surprise is better.then i noe i m to leave him soon.then he was packing his stuffs and went to shit while i chat online wif laine and his fren.after awhile laine log off.went to read her blog then sms her awhile then went to friendster browse awhile time to go bk le.
dear went to change then i pack moi stuffs we went bk together.took 180 to terminal then i wait with him for his bus to come then i board moi.then his bus came.then i took 700A bk.who noes the route has change i duno sial.then i took till the bus drive out to some wulu place then i ask bus uncle.he sae gng down to orchard.i stunned immediately.no way.cos i wan2 go home.l;uckily dear ask mi go ask if nt i will be at town.-.-.then alight at some duno where de expressway.then i nid to make moi way bk to bukit panjang on moi foot.bus 11 ya.then tok to dear on fone.co si m scared.its dark.its creepy.its duno.the feeling is super uneasy i tried to ignore.however the fear is still there.the traffic there is not beri heavy so its beri quiet.u can hear ya footstpes and stuffs.luckily i still hab him on the other line.i m glad to have him by moi side when i needed him.how i wish he is beside mi.i walk for a beri long time i guess so.half-way i fell cos slippery.then hurt moi knee there.a few scractches and then dirty.sweating.warm.i m wearing a jacket mind u.shitty.then i walk as fast as i could so tt i can get home fast.moi only thot is to reach home.get home.if he's not toking to mi on the fone i guess i will jus be crying.then i remember how i try moi beri best not to tear in forn tof him jus now.the tears i swallow bk.then i tried to smile.i wan him to be happie.i smile to him.i treasure the time we r together.then i told moiself to be strong nt to cry.i dun wan him to worrie.at tt point of time.then bk to topic.i keep walking then finally walk bk home.all thanks to moi dear there mentally supporting mi.
i just love him so muchie.its beyond words.beyond anitin.i love moi parents,moi bro too.budden they never noe.they only noe sort of broke moi heart at times with the harsh words.i just love him i love them too.i love moi true frens too.
i know deep in moi heart i miss him.i miss him lyk mad.u never noe how muchie.cos i simply LOVE him to bits and love him with moi life.
cia penned♥ Sunday, June 18, 2006.
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