Sunday, January 18, 2009
18 january
i think my mozilla firefox goes crazy at times.
i don't wish to dwell on unhappy things. but i know i will not forget that slut. wadeva. i know i m also at fault. sorry laine. i think the guilt weighs down on me. sorry. i m so sorry for everything that happens. no one is at fault but myself. really hated all the things that gone wrong. sorry!
well on a lighter note, i had dye my hair. i think its kinda too bright? hahas. budden already dye so nvm abt it. i did my FIRST pedicure. and i did a classic french manicure. coool. long time since i do these girly stuff.
hmmm. on friday night. everything went well. i don't know what else to say. i never like to bring unhappy stuff here becos its too private. nevertheless. i need to thanks my loved ones for their understanding. please don't be angry or upset or anything. i just wish to say sorry once again.
that's all.haish. everything ended. not the way i wanted it thou. hmmm.
i think i gt some posts at office. more of me addicted to edward cullen, bella and jacob. that kind of teenage love is better. forever. forgiving. never a flaw. human is always imperfect. a monster is far better isn't it. because they are not perfect to start with. how i wish, all can be amended.....
i think my mozilla firefox goes crazy at times.
i don't wish to dwell on unhappy things. but i know i will not forget that slut. wadeva. i know i m also at fault. sorry laine. i think the guilt weighs down on me. sorry. i m so sorry for everything that happens. no one is at fault but myself. really hated all the things that gone wrong. sorry!
well on a lighter note, i had dye my hair. i think its kinda too bright? hahas. budden already dye so nvm abt it. i did my FIRST pedicure. and i did a classic french manicure. coool. long time since i do these girly stuff.
hmmm. on friday night. everything went well. i don't know what else to say. i never like to bring unhappy stuff here becos its too private. nevertheless. i need to thanks my loved ones for their understanding. please don't be angry or upset or anything. i just wish to say sorry once again.
that's all.haish. everything ended. not the way i wanted it thou. hmmm.
i think i gt some posts at office. more of me addicted to edward cullen, bella and jacob. that kind of teenage love is better. forever. forgiving. never a flaw. human is always imperfect. a monster is far better isn't it. because they are not perfect to start with. how i wish, all can be amended.....
Labels: i m truly sorry to my loved ones.
cia penned♥ Sunday, January 18, 2009.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
10 january
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST ELAINE.
i wanted to sms her at 12midnight sharp. yes the oldest tradition on the book. POOF! everything does not go by the book. i fell asleep at about 11.58pm. GREAT~ isn't it?!
well my dear even called me and i answered the call again. great! i don't know what i had say once again. bloody hell. aniway. that is not the point. the point is i set my alarm at 630am. because i thought that i need to go to work. so i msg my babe at that time. GREAT?!!!
lol. sleeping throughout the night after that. then came those drilling and knocking sound from above. i seriously think its that kinda "thing" supernatural? hair-raising. every night before i sleep i oso hear. every morning i also hear. fuck right?
so i just sae ~!!@@#$%%^@#%^%^&&&^**(* (all the censor words) and surprisingly it stopped. HELLO SUPERNATURAL. i know you might be powerful that is my house. i m more powerful in my house okie. dun meddle with me thou. i mayb a human. a human with BAD BAD TEMPER. i think my dad is more powerful than me. cos he actually use a bamboo to tackle that noisy sound. so well. aniways. pls dun try to meddle with HENG family. thanks alot. get lost get away you dun belong here.
aniways. i should get going. i need to go down to ms soon. hee hee. byes. i do blog. just that my office does not allow access to such sites. you know why! hahaa. loves to all. take care. THANKS CHLOE FOR THE CONTACT LENSES. thanks!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST ELAINE.
i wanted to sms her at 12midnight sharp. yes the oldest tradition on the book. POOF! everything does not go by the book. i fell asleep at about 11.58pm. GREAT~ isn't it?!
well my dear even called me and i answered the call again. great! i don't know what i had say once again. bloody hell. aniway. that is not the point. the point is i set my alarm at 630am. because i thought that i need to go to work. so i msg my babe at that time. GREAT?!!!
lol. sleeping throughout the night after that. then came those drilling and knocking sound from above. i seriously think its that kinda "thing" supernatural? hair-raising. every night before i sleep i oso hear. every morning i also hear. fuck right?
so i just sae ~!!@@#$%%^@#%^%^&&&^**(* (all the censor words) and surprisingly it stopped. HELLO SUPERNATURAL. i know you might be powerful that is my house. i m more powerful in my house okie. dun meddle with me thou. i mayb a human. a human with BAD BAD TEMPER. i think my dad is more powerful than me. cos he actually use a bamboo to tackle that noisy sound. so well. aniways. pls dun try to meddle with HENG family. thanks alot. get lost get away you dun belong here.
aniways. i should get going. i need to go down to ms soon. hee hee. byes. i do blog. just that my office does not allow access to such sites. you know why! hahaa. loves to all. take care. THANKS CHLOE FOR THE CONTACT LENSES. thanks!
cia penned♥ Saturday, January 10, 2009.
5 January
“Nothing is a constant. Everything is just a variable”
Well, I must honestly say having nothing to do at all has it pros and cons.
The pros are:
You can eng eng ching ching
You can save the best of your brain cells
You can shake you leg whenever you like
You can look around like nobody’s business
You can surf the fcuking net like krazy
You can think of whatever stuffs that comes into your mind
You start to learn to love google and yahoo
You start to love blog-hopping
You start to just love INTERNET
The cons are:
You are dead bored
Everyone thinks you are a bloody slacker
You are seriously am trying to feel useful by pretending to use MS words typing the latest blog entry
You can seriously hating the TIME because its passing slowly laughing at YOU
You will think that the grass on the other is greener
You will start to be crappy
PMSing
Along with anger and frustration
All these boils down to MONDAY’s blues.
So Monday’s blues does happen for a reason or at least more than A reason. Wadevaso.
Alright. My new year. Totally the day for me to catch some zzz-s okie. You may think that working is not hard. Its hard becos you fight fatigue and you need to wake up when you alarm start beeping. It kinda reminds me of the days when I snuggle in my blanket refusing to attend any lectures. Let my zzz-ing rolls in. waddahell. 1 more month. Argh. I leave by the motto of: the day I survived, it’s the day that make me stronger. I love kanye west. He gives me the power to live my life. Waddahell… hahaha.
Okie new year resolutions. More $. More $$. More $$$. Alright alright. I m being really $.$ face here. I know. Who don’t?
1. fats to be rid off
2. hair to grow faster like pubic hair does. But in a silky and straight manner.
3. $$$ to roll into my account like nobody’s business
4. suddenly all the branded shops want to sponsor me branded bag
5. all my family and friends to live healthily and happily
6. my love one to get what he wishes for
I want shopping k. I already roll out the list of shopping after I get my pay on 16th January. FYI I m not shopping for clothes till I get my va-va-voom body back. I know it will take quite awhile. So don’t even think of texting me to ask me out for shopping for clothes. I don’t shop for shoes. Nothing in the market fit my broad and short feet. If you happened to find one. Please inform me. I have a hell lots of difficulty getting one.
1. fake lashes ( I have been yaking on it for a bloody hell long time can…)
2. contact lenses (if I m damn bloody bo liao)
3. I need some facial products to fix my blackheads and pimples
4. I need a super oily rehydrating lotion to fixed my bloody skin
5. my eyebrow threading
6. my henna hair colouring… I want to make highlights. Budden I better not.. lol I cant imagine myself with highlights.
Hell yea. I m right now typing this entry on MS word. Cos I m freaking hell boring and FREE. Woo FREE… dun ask me about work I jus noe I need to endure another freaking 3 weeks. Ooooohhhh man… then I m left with 2 weeks then BOOOO! I m considered free woman. Free in the heart, soul and mind. Wadeva you named it. wadeva shyt. I dun give it a damn as long as I m out of the company.
Recently I realized I sucked at wearing jeans. Then I counted my jeans. I have more than 7 pairs of them. Fuck. See how stupid I m to splurge on such stuffs. It pissed me off that now I m so fat that I cant fit in any of my clothes.
Am still reluctant to stop typing cos it make me feel that I m like typing a report or so… argh I m just to lazy to go researching for my final report. Wad is the bloody time now? 16.25pm. great. Still got like bloody 2 hours plus to be exact….. bloody hell y must it be ME…
Oh on a lighter note, I have took part in the PUMA boat design. Which is to design a boat. Isn’t it cool? I use tribal as my theme. I could have drawn better tribal. Given the 9am-11am time frame I cant really do a good job. So I send it out right before 12pm. I hope they accept my entry. At least I participated. I dun expect to win of cos. I do it out of boredom out of fun. See how bo liao I hab turn to. You cant blame me blame XXXX. Argh.
Let me recall I remember myself getting into this curry chicken frenzy. I just could not stop eating curry chicken for consecutive 3 days okie. Then once I m at suntec foodcourt. Then I ordered claypot curry chicken, who knows I got burnt. Waddahell the auntie la. Give me one more bowl. I m like kind hearted giving it bk to her. She keep going yadayada. Then I went to pick up the tray. But alas, I burnt myself. Dammit. Right in front of her. I feel like slapping her at that moment of time. Bloody CCB.
6 January
“When you start thinking that everything isn’t going well, you are wrong as things are getting better at the end…”
You must be thinking why am I like writing that quote above right?
Let me summaries my bloody CB morning. On the bus, I have no seats to sit…. AWWW that is normal right. Not when I have a tummy ache…. So painful…. Want to shyt out that kinda feeling okie! I hate mornings. Reason being: my shyt like mornings than afternoon. Alright that isn’t really the BAD thing I encounter. After awhile I manage to console myself that I m reaching office soon. Toilet will be there for me. Reality hit me hard. It jammed at the PS bustop. WADDAHELL. I m like stuck there for like 5 minutes. Hey mind you! 5 minutes is eternity for ME who in need of toilet. It’s alright okie. I tahan!.... cos if “things don’t kill me, it will make me stronger.” Fuck!
Finally I get to sit down… then off went the bus. Then it stopped at hong lim park. Yea. I m thinking to myself just 5 more minutes to toilet.then when I was about to cross over to XXXX south. The malay auntie who is crossing over to my side pointed out to my right. Hell YEAH… give me a bloody scare (luckily my shyt still in the arsehole OK). The taxi is just turning in la. WTF. The taxi can wait nor. I m already halfway through the road liao. Bloody CB taxi. Go eat shyt la. Go go go! Fuck. What a suay morning. Finally reach my “heavenly” (because of the toilet) office…..
Then I quickly set up my lappie then I went to take a dump. PHEW!!!!!!!~. So shuang.. so shuang till I must blogged it down. Because I have been constipated for about like a week plus. You all won’t understand my feeling. Ever since that bloody diarrhoea, I have been like no decent dumping. Occasionally got come out budden not all of it that kinda feeling. Hey I know you people must be “wa liao you damn disgusting lei” try eating the charcoal given by the doc. Damn make me constipated for weeks. Damn shitty. BUT now, so shuang…. :)))))))))))))))))))))))))) I need bloody fruits because veggie is not very strong in my body eh. FUCK~!@#$%^&*().
Alright I guess today’s dinner shall be yong tau fu. And and my DKNY Be Delicious is making me so happy. Hee hee. Smelling myself got a kinda of shuang gan……lalalala…. Floating… LOL
7 January
Ooooh I just LOVE google. Its fun googling… becos I am so goddamn bored which resulting me in googling. Hey I google lots of things. I google its.XXXXXX blog. Its goddamn funny the way I google it. I saw porn la, muslim society, meaning of XXXXXX… which I don’t give a fuck care about it.
Aniways that is not the point. I just want to have a great laugh when I google something I wish to google it out. Well well can say I m now bloody obsessed with google. HEY you cant blame me. Blame XXXX. Bloody hell X-rated words la. Want to know come ask me. Non- related to anyone in particular. Haha. Budden its fun. Wooooooooo~~~~~
Fun fun fun! well, I m feeling hungry after that bowl of mee soto…. Haish. Lunch can’t really fill my stomach well. I m feeling god-damn hungry. Argh. I think I m finishing my chocolate mint sweets soon in the office. I m like popping one as and when I like it. its Wednesday. But Thursday ain’t great because that SOMEONE is coming back to work. I m not prejudice against him. I m just. Argh whatever.
8 January
“I m just tired. You know drained out of strength both mentally and physically. However, I persist to hold on my belief: what does not kill me will make me stronger!”
Hey hey I am a bo liao person in XXXX. Only intern in Singapore so bo liao. Eng eng ching ching. Shake leg. Bloody shit. I hate this kinda life give me some bloody work to do man. What with coming here and be a pile of shyt not doing anything. NOTHING. EMPTY.BORING. zzz.
My friends are all to busy to even log onto “spark” (an internal MSN from ocbc)… waddahell! I need to even email them. Poor them but DAMN POOR ME… lol. Self-pitying ain’t going to help I know that. I m jus indulge in my boredom that is why came this pathetic blog entry from me right. Or else I will be too busy clicking or typing away for some other reasons. Definitely not writing over here. Dammit.
I think life has reached a level where everything go straight. No direction. Nothing. Jus straight. The end is on 6th February too far to gauge what will happen from here. Too far. Pessimistic? Nothing but Facts here. oh yea recalling what my ex-colleague (becos she is transfer to another team. Name her as A)asking me so do I have any work on hand now? I am like. NOTHING. A laughed and went off. Great.
Let me named the work I had done for today. I helped KTC to scanned a 3 pages documents into a PDF. *claps* please. Because that is one pathetic work I have done for the week. GREAT?!. Thanks. Argh. Self-indulgence again. Ignore me then. Alright I scanned another 9 pages of documents… is that an achievement for the day. I guessed so.. speechless.
9 January
I think the presence KC make me go tingling itching. Its mind-blowing. I dunno why. Perhaps its my brain… budden his presence make me uncomfortable. I have been complaining I dun hab any job on hand isn’t it.
I just got one assignment from him. He ask me to watch a video. Below is the simple task I m assigned to. I approached him. But… I still don’t understand.
[http://www.ft.com/cms/bfba2c48-5588-11dc-b971-0000779fd2ac.html?_i_referralObject=988390035&fromSearch=n
Hi Felicia,
Got one simple project for you. Watch the video above first and then pull out data to run similar numbers on it. As in use the dot com bust time period and current period. We want to show how markets can suffer from a bear rally and its easy for clients to get caught in a bear trap if they are not careful.
Basically we want to show how small market rallies can occur in a longer downward cycle in the stock markets.
Your piece should be able to show similar charts to highlight the many mini rallies during the dot com period and maybe another period like the 1970s savings and loans crisis.
Let me know if you need me to explain. Cheers!]
This whole thing just make me feel useless all over again. I think I m dumb. Because I only know how to surf net when there is nothing to do. And I can’t do such a simple task. I cant even understand it even after he went through with me. Alright. Nth much to sae.
I feel itchy whenever I feel stress and anxiety. Pretty strange. That is what happen. I submitted my work to my supervisor. No reply. Great or simply he feels that my work sucks. I dunno. I think my work sucks. I think I sucks. I think I simply am dumb.
My intern frens were asked to stay to help. I am the sole one who is a special NO. they don’t need me as they have a new intern. Budden I guess the main reason is that I cant help them. Neither can I help them value add. I m only good at surfing net and playing game. What else am I good at if not all these?
Get a rough idea of my job scope? (the email is just part of my ad-hoc duties :)
“What does not kills me will make me stronger!” I already did my best for the work to be submitted to him. I just hope he wont arrow my stuffs as crap or wadeva shyt. How do I gauge the market rallies? Any ideas? Using the last prices of the indexes? Or ? is there a graph that have a line then oso “a grey area to indicate the up % of a trend” is there? I dunno. I m plain stupid. I can witness that. I surely does. Repeating the motto to myself does make me feel better.
After I send the email to my supervisor, I start to feel tense. Then my face turning warmer then I feel itchness everywhere. My head, my face and my body are itching non-stop till they went for the last quarter meeting. I am not involved HURRAY. Then I heard my supervisor “haish-ing” I feel tenser. I started to shift around in my seat. I told my intern fren. No use, it does not reduce my stress. I feel more scared. I feel my heartbeat beating louder and faster. Am I crazy or simply paranoid? It’s killing me. I mean I don’t like that I don’t have a task to do. But I don’t like that I am given a task I can’t do. Dilemma is the best word for me to use now.
Useless. Brainless. Stupid. Moron. Retard. Worthless. Are the only words that I can relate now. Well I m not trying to act pathetic or give ppl the impression that my job is bloody hard but it is hard at times. I m not saying my supervisor is an evil person, my colleagues are great. I m jus simply not suitable for the job you see.
I know everyone knows I m surfing net. Looking at whatever that should not be done in a office. I KNOW. I know each and everyone of them loves to peek at my laptop screen. I KNOW. I just know that they think that I m so slack. While the rest of the interns have something to do. I also want work to do. I really do. I have to even reduce my brightness to zero. Why I have to resort to such means. To stop ppl keep peeking at what I am doing. If they know I m not doing WORK why still must peek. There is no prices given out for peeking. I know I eng. Not I want de. I jus simply waiting. I m waiting for 6th feb. I know I sound like making hell lot of excuses. Why I don’t want to ask for job. Look at me? I cant even do that fucking simple task above. So what they assign me job. To keep bothering them with questions? It is for me to find out the things that I don’t know. That is the stress. Aiya never mind. See me as a slacker. I prefer it this way.
On a lighter note, today my side de guys all wearing PINK?! My boss is wear red a shade close to PINK. Well what a pinkish day. Haha. They are funny at times. And R is yawning early in the morning. M chided him for doing that. True enough, yawning is contagious OK. I m yawning. Yawning. Eyes are drooping. Woooo cool..
Well at least before the end of the day, he finally replied to me. he acknowledged it. Finally. So Monday before 3pm I need to get back to him. With the help he provided me, I think I can do it ba…. I hope so! JIA YOU!!!! Yuppies!
“Nothing is a constant. Everything is just a variable”
Well, I must honestly say having nothing to do at all has it pros and cons.
The pros are:
You can eng eng ching ching
You can save the best of your brain cells
You can shake you leg whenever you like
You can look around like nobody’s business
You can surf the fcuking net like krazy
You can think of whatever stuffs that comes into your mind
You start to learn to love google and yahoo
You start to love blog-hopping
You start to just love INTERNET
The cons are:
You are dead bored
Everyone thinks you are a bloody slacker
You are seriously am trying to feel useful by pretending to use MS words typing the latest blog entry
You can seriously hating the TIME because its passing slowly laughing at YOU
You will think that the grass on the other is greener
You will start to be crappy
PMSing
Along with anger and frustration
All these boils down to MONDAY’s blues.
So Monday’s blues does happen for a reason or at least more than A reason. Wadevaso.
Alright. My new year. Totally the day for me to catch some zzz-s okie. You may think that working is not hard. Its hard becos you fight fatigue and you need to wake up when you alarm start beeping. It kinda reminds me of the days when I snuggle in my blanket refusing to attend any lectures. Let my zzz-ing rolls in. waddahell. 1 more month. Argh. I leave by the motto of: the day I survived, it’s the day that make me stronger. I love kanye west. He gives me the power to live my life. Waddahell… hahaha.
Okie new year resolutions. More $. More $$. More $$$. Alright alright. I m being really $.$ face here. I know. Who don’t?
1. fats to be rid off
2. hair to grow faster like pubic hair does. But in a silky and straight manner.
3. $$$ to roll into my account like nobody’s business
4. suddenly all the branded shops want to sponsor me branded bag
5. all my family and friends to live healthily and happily
6. my love one to get what he wishes for
I want shopping k. I already roll out the list of shopping after I get my pay on 16th January. FYI I m not shopping for clothes till I get my va-va-voom body back. I know it will take quite awhile. So don’t even think of texting me to ask me out for shopping for clothes. I don’t shop for shoes. Nothing in the market fit my broad and short feet. If you happened to find one. Please inform me. I have a hell lots of difficulty getting one.
1. fake lashes ( I have been yaking on it for a bloody hell long time can…)
2. contact lenses (if I m damn bloody bo liao)
3. I need some facial products to fix my blackheads and pimples
4. I need a super oily rehydrating lotion to fixed my bloody skin
5. my eyebrow threading
6. my henna hair colouring… I want to make highlights. Budden I better not.. lol I cant imagine myself with highlights.
Hell yea. I m right now typing this entry on MS word. Cos I m freaking hell boring and FREE. Woo FREE… dun ask me about work I jus noe I need to endure another freaking 3 weeks. Ooooohhhh man… then I m left with 2 weeks then BOOOO! I m considered free woman. Free in the heart, soul and mind. Wadeva you named it. wadeva shyt. I dun give it a damn as long as I m out of the company.
Recently I realized I sucked at wearing jeans. Then I counted my jeans. I have more than 7 pairs of them. Fuck. See how stupid I m to splurge on such stuffs. It pissed me off that now I m so fat that I cant fit in any of my clothes.
Am still reluctant to stop typing cos it make me feel that I m like typing a report or so… argh I m just to lazy to go researching for my final report. Wad is the bloody time now? 16.25pm. great. Still got like bloody 2 hours plus to be exact….. bloody hell y must it be ME…
Oh on a lighter note, I have took part in the PUMA boat design. Which is to design a boat. Isn’t it cool? I use tribal as my theme. I could have drawn better tribal. Given the 9am-11am time frame I cant really do a good job. So I send it out right before 12pm. I hope they accept my entry. At least I participated. I dun expect to win of cos. I do it out of boredom out of fun. See how bo liao I hab turn to. You cant blame me blame XXXX. Argh.
Let me recall I remember myself getting into this curry chicken frenzy. I just could not stop eating curry chicken for consecutive 3 days okie. Then once I m at suntec foodcourt. Then I ordered claypot curry chicken, who knows I got burnt. Waddahell the auntie la. Give me one more bowl. I m like kind hearted giving it bk to her. She keep going yadayada. Then I went to pick up the tray. But alas, I burnt myself. Dammit. Right in front of her. I feel like slapping her at that moment of time. Bloody CCB.
6 January
“When you start thinking that everything isn’t going well, you are wrong as things are getting better at the end…”
You must be thinking why am I like writing that quote above right?
Let me summaries my bloody CB morning. On the bus, I have no seats to sit…. AWWW that is normal right. Not when I have a tummy ache…. So painful…. Want to shyt out that kinda feeling okie! I hate mornings. Reason being: my shyt like mornings than afternoon. Alright that isn’t really the BAD thing I encounter. After awhile I manage to console myself that I m reaching office soon. Toilet will be there for me. Reality hit me hard. It jammed at the PS bustop. WADDAHELL. I m like stuck there for like 5 minutes. Hey mind you! 5 minutes is eternity for ME who in need of toilet. It’s alright okie. I tahan!.... cos if “things don’t kill me, it will make me stronger.” Fuck!
Finally I get to sit down… then off went the bus. Then it stopped at hong lim park. Yea. I m thinking to myself just 5 more minutes to toilet.then when I was about to cross over to XXXX south. The malay auntie who is crossing over to my side pointed out to my right. Hell YEAH… give me a bloody scare (luckily my shyt still in the arsehole OK). The taxi is just turning in la. WTF. The taxi can wait nor. I m already halfway through the road liao. Bloody CB taxi. Go eat shyt la. Go go go! Fuck. What a suay morning. Finally reach my “heavenly” (because of the toilet) office…..
Then I quickly set up my lappie then I went to take a dump. PHEW!!!!!!!~. So shuang.. so shuang till I must blogged it down. Because I have been constipated for about like a week plus. You all won’t understand my feeling. Ever since that bloody diarrhoea, I have been like no decent dumping. Occasionally got come out budden not all of it that kinda feeling. Hey I know you people must be “wa liao you damn disgusting lei” try eating the charcoal given by the doc. Damn make me constipated for weeks. Damn shitty. BUT now, so shuang…. :)))))))))))))))))))))))))) I need bloody fruits because veggie is not very strong in my body eh. FUCK~!@#$%^&*().
Alright I guess today’s dinner shall be yong tau fu. And and my DKNY Be Delicious is making me so happy. Hee hee. Smelling myself got a kinda of shuang gan……lalalala…. Floating… LOL
7 January
Ooooh I just LOVE google. Its fun googling… becos I am so goddamn bored which resulting me in googling. Hey I google lots of things. I google its.XXXXXX blog. Its goddamn funny the way I google it. I saw porn la, muslim society, meaning of XXXXXX… which I don’t give a fuck care about it.
Aniways that is not the point. I just want to have a great laugh when I google something I wish to google it out. Well well can say I m now bloody obsessed with google. HEY you cant blame me. Blame XXXX. Bloody hell X-rated words la. Want to know come ask me. Non- related to anyone in particular. Haha. Budden its fun. Wooooooooo~~~~~
Fun fun fun! well, I m feeling hungry after that bowl of mee soto…. Haish. Lunch can’t really fill my stomach well. I m feeling god-damn hungry. Argh. I think I m finishing my chocolate mint sweets soon in the office. I m like popping one as and when I like it. its Wednesday. But Thursday ain’t great because that SOMEONE is coming back to work. I m not prejudice against him. I m just. Argh whatever.
8 January
“I m just tired. You know drained out of strength both mentally and physically. However, I persist to hold on my belief: what does not kill me will make me stronger!”
Hey hey I am a bo liao person in XXXX. Only intern in Singapore so bo liao. Eng eng ching ching. Shake leg. Bloody shit. I hate this kinda life give me some bloody work to do man. What with coming here and be a pile of shyt not doing anything. NOTHING. EMPTY.BORING. zzz.
My friends are all to busy to even log onto “spark” (an internal MSN from ocbc)… waddahell! I need to even email them. Poor them but DAMN POOR ME… lol. Self-pitying ain’t going to help I know that. I m jus indulge in my boredom that is why came this pathetic blog entry from me right. Or else I will be too busy clicking or typing away for some other reasons. Definitely not writing over here. Dammit.
I think life has reached a level where everything go straight. No direction. Nothing. Jus straight. The end is on 6th February too far to gauge what will happen from here. Too far. Pessimistic? Nothing but Facts here. oh yea recalling what my ex-colleague (becos she is transfer to another team. Name her as A)asking me so do I have any work on hand now? I am like. NOTHING. A laughed and went off. Great.
Let me named the work I had done for today. I helped KTC to scanned a 3 pages documents into a PDF. *claps* please. Because that is one pathetic work I have done for the week. GREAT?!. Thanks. Argh. Self-indulgence again. Ignore me then. Alright I scanned another 9 pages of documents… is that an achievement for the day. I guessed so.. speechless.
9 January
I think the presence KC make me go tingling itching. Its mind-blowing. I dunno why. Perhaps its my brain… budden his presence make me uncomfortable. I have been complaining I dun hab any job on hand isn’t it.
I just got one assignment from him. He ask me to watch a video. Below is the simple task I m assigned to. I approached him. But… I still don’t understand.
[http://www.ft.com/cms/bfba2c48-5588-11dc-b971-0000779fd2ac.html?_i_referralObject=988390035&fromSearch=n
Hi Felicia,
Got one simple project for you. Watch the video above first and then pull out data to run similar numbers on it. As in use the dot com bust time period and current period. We want to show how markets can suffer from a bear rally and its easy for clients to get caught in a bear trap if they are not careful.
Basically we want to show how small market rallies can occur in a longer downward cycle in the stock markets.
Your piece should be able to show similar charts to highlight the many mini rallies during the dot com period and maybe another period like the 1970s savings and loans crisis.
Let me know if you need me to explain. Cheers!]
This whole thing just make me feel useless all over again. I think I m dumb. Because I only know how to surf net when there is nothing to do. And I can’t do such a simple task. I cant even understand it even after he went through with me. Alright. Nth much to sae.
I feel itchy whenever I feel stress and anxiety. Pretty strange. That is what happen. I submitted my work to my supervisor. No reply. Great or simply he feels that my work sucks. I dunno. I think my work sucks. I think I sucks. I think I simply am dumb.
My intern frens were asked to stay to help. I am the sole one who is a special NO. they don’t need me as they have a new intern. Budden I guess the main reason is that I cant help them. Neither can I help them value add. I m only good at surfing net and playing game. What else am I good at if not all these?
Get a rough idea of my job scope? (the email is just part of my ad-hoc duties :)
“What does not kills me will make me stronger!” I already did my best for the work to be submitted to him. I just hope he wont arrow my stuffs as crap or wadeva shyt. How do I gauge the market rallies? Any ideas? Using the last prices of the indexes? Or ? is there a graph that have a line then oso “a grey area to indicate the up % of a trend” is there? I dunno. I m plain stupid. I can witness that. I surely does. Repeating the motto to myself does make me feel better.
After I send the email to my supervisor, I start to feel tense. Then my face turning warmer then I feel itchness everywhere. My head, my face and my body are itching non-stop till they went for the last quarter meeting. I am not involved HURRAY. Then I heard my supervisor “haish-ing” I feel tenser. I started to shift around in my seat. I told my intern fren. No use, it does not reduce my stress. I feel more scared. I feel my heartbeat beating louder and faster. Am I crazy or simply paranoid? It’s killing me. I mean I don’t like that I don’t have a task to do. But I don’t like that I am given a task I can’t do. Dilemma is the best word for me to use now.
Useless. Brainless. Stupid. Moron. Retard. Worthless. Are the only words that I can relate now. Well I m not trying to act pathetic or give ppl the impression that my job is bloody hard but it is hard at times. I m not saying my supervisor is an evil person, my colleagues are great. I m jus simply not suitable for the job you see.
I know everyone knows I m surfing net. Looking at whatever that should not be done in a office. I KNOW. I know each and everyone of them loves to peek at my laptop screen. I KNOW. I just know that they think that I m so slack. While the rest of the interns have something to do. I also want work to do. I really do. I have to even reduce my brightness to zero. Why I have to resort to such means. To stop ppl keep peeking at what I am doing. If they know I m not doing WORK why still must peek. There is no prices given out for peeking. I know I eng. Not I want de. I jus simply waiting. I m waiting for 6th feb. I know I sound like making hell lot of excuses. Why I don’t want to ask for job. Look at me? I cant even do that fucking simple task above. So what they assign me job. To keep bothering them with questions? It is for me to find out the things that I don’t know. That is the stress. Aiya never mind. See me as a slacker. I prefer it this way.
On a lighter note, today my side de guys all wearing PINK?! My boss is wear red a shade close to PINK. Well what a pinkish day. Haha. They are funny at times. And R is yawning early in the morning. M chided him for doing that. True enough, yawning is contagious OK. I m yawning. Yawning. Eyes are drooping. Woooo cool..
Well at least before the end of the day, he finally replied to me. he acknowledged it. Finally. So Monday before 3pm I need to get back to him. With the help he provided me, I think I can do it ba…. I hope so! JIA YOU!!!! Yuppies!
cia penned♥ Saturday, January 10, 2009.
Exits
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