Friday, May 29, 2009
29 may.
i m going to work part time on saturday! hopefully everything turns out fine and i am able to pick up the skills easily.
at times, i wished i m like the character "bella" not as in looks and figure, that can never match up. hahas. what i meant is the life she is so persistent in living. the love she stubbornly holds it tightly in her hands. the way she never give up her friendship with "Jacob" and also her family ties with "Renee and Charlie". i like her. in her own world with "Edward".
hee. if i m that supernatural, i dont mind marrying to my dear and we shall live in the cottage happily shielded from the worries in this world. and with a baby girl. haha. am i talking about marriage here. yeah. but usually fiction book make me detached from reality. i know i wont be tying the knot that soon.
furthermore, me and dear not supernatural. haha. but one thing for sure, i know i am gng down the path of future with him. so dear, i m looking forward to our 4th anniversary. cheerios!
i m going to work part time on saturday! hopefully everything turns out fine and i am able to pick up the skills easily.
at times, i wished i m like the character "bella" not as in looks and figure, that can never match up. hahas. what i meant is the life she is so persistent in living. the love she stubbornly holds it tightly in her hands. the way she never give up her friendship with "Jacob" and also her family ties with "Renee and Charlie". i like her. in her own world with "Edward".
hee. if i m that supernatural, i dont mind marrying to my dear and we shall live in the cottage happily shielded from the worries in this world. and with a baby girl. haha. am i talking about marriage here. yeah. but usually fiction book make me detached from reality. i know i wont be tying the knot that soon.
furthermore, me and dear not supernatural. haha. but one thing for sure, i know i am gng down the path of future with him. so dear, i m looking forward to our 4th anniversary. cheerios!
Labels: THE BIG FOUR
cia penned♥ Friday, May 29, 2009.
Monday, May 18, 2009
18 may.
i had too much resentments in me. i wished to go to a faraway place from Singapore and ponder on my next step into the future, and the things that are swirling in my mind. i can't even know what are the things that swirled in my mind. they are a lump of things which i can't figure out, i don't know why but its bothering me too often.
i hate the emptiness feeling in me. its like i can no longer appreciate life in a way or another. i don't know what am i sprouting here. i m not trying to end my life, that is shallow. but, i am trying to enhance my life in a way or another. am i so weak? or am i just plain useless on some things. i don't know how to control my emotions lately. i don't like the idea of my over-flowing emotions that does no one any good.
i know the fact that physically i am not alone. i have great friends, boyfriend and family. but at the back of the mind, i can't help but to notice that i am pathetically alone mentally. i don't know what i am saying here, it's hard to explain. it's like my thoughts are always well-hidden and i can't express them out as they can't be explained. they are lump together, i can't visualize it or even understand it myself. complicated, yes. goddamn complicated.
where is me? where is my interest? where is my passion? where is my everything? where has it gone to? Have it flown with the wind as i grew older? where is the REAL ME? i am finding hard. pathetically hard, i want to be ALONE for months, for years. i know i am being selfish, but i can't be bothered. my head hurts again.
i had too much resentments in me. i wished to go to a faraway place from Singapore and ponder on my next step into the future, and the things that are swirling in my mind. i can't even know what are the things that swirled in my mind. they are a lump of things which i can't figure out, i don't know why but its bothering me too often.
i hate the emptiness feeling in me. its like i can no longer appreciate life in a way or another. i don't know what am i sprouting here. i m not trying to end my life, that is shallow. but, i am trying to enhance my life in a way or another. am i so weak? or am i just plain useless on some things. i don't know how to control my emotions lately. i don't like the idea of my over-flowing emotions that does no one any good.
i know the fact that physically i am not alone. i have great friends, boyfriend and family. but at the back of the mind, i can't help but to notice that i am pathetically alone mentally. i don't know what i am saying here, it's hard to explain. it's like my thoughts are always well-hidden and i can't express them out as they can't be explained. they are lump together, i can't visualize it or even understand it myself. complicated, yes. goddamn complicated.
where is me? where is my interest? where is my passion? where is my everything? where has it gone to? Have it flown with the wind as i grew older? where is the REAL ME? i am finding hard. pathetically hard, i want to be ALONE for months, for years. i know i am being selfish, but i can't be bothered. my head hurts again.
Labels: WHERE AM I?
cia penned♥ Monday, May 18, 2009.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
5 may.
sad. my dear is sick. seriously sick. been taking care of him but his throat inflammation still no improvement. sick cannot go work sial. then abit worried on his job side. he is on mc on last thurs then this mon, tue and tmr oso need to get mc. poor him.
i think i must be more stringent on his food intake or else he will be landed in such situations again, poor dear. haish.
on a lighter note, i cut my bangs. bang bang bang, bang bang bang, beautiful bang bang bangs. ok i m being lame :p cos my dear cant acc me so i come here to vent my boredom and craziness. ler. sad i disturb him, he oso no strength to rebel me. ler.
so sorry my dear besties. for the moment, i need to take care of my dear. so wont be meeting you all.
i hope dear get well soon REAL SOON. argh!!!! :((((
sad. my dear is sick. seriously sick. been taking care of him but his throat inflammation still no improvement. sick cannot go work sial. then abit worried on his job side. he is on mc on last thurs then this mon, tue and tmr oso need to get mc. poor him.
i think i must be more stringent on his food intake or else he will be landed in such situations again, poor dear. haish.
on a lighter note, i cut my bangs. bang bang bang, bang bang bang, beautiful bang bang bangs. ok i m being lame :p cos my dear cant acc me so i come here to vent my boredom and craziness. ler. sad i disturb him, he oso no strength to rebel me. ler.
so sorry my dear besties. for the moment, i need to take care of my dear. so wont be meeting you all.
i hope dear get well soon REAL SOON. argh!!!! :((((
Labels: off you GO from my darling....., seasonal flu and throat inflammation
cia penned♥ Tuesday, May 05, 2009.
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